I am sitting in front of the Gate E4 at Amsterdam Schiphol Airport waiting for my flight to Kigali to depart. The light is slowly breaking through the glass windows and I am slowly waking up.
The last 2 weeks were packed with a wonderful preparation seminar where I met a lot of lovely people and enjoyed the last days of summer gazing at stars while bathing in the lake, playing music and doing other rather exiting stuff with my fellow volunteers. Also, I met the wonderful Alessa who primarily has an affliction for goats and secondly will also go to Kigali. Although we won’t live nor work together I have the feeling that we will have a lot of fun and I will have someone to snuggle with when I’m sad or lonely.
That relaxing period was followed by 2 days which felt quite unreal, not only because I hadn’t slept for more than 5 hours for 12 days but mainly because my idea to spend a year in Kigali developed from being a few words in an application to packing my bags and leaving home.
When I woke up this morning at about 4 am. There was this common feeling that evolved through my body. The head thats pulling you down into the sheets, because your body knows that you did not sleep enough to wake up at such an inhuman time. While I still felt dizzy I realized that staying in bed would not be a possibility today. Of course in most moments when your alarm comes crashing through a nice and cozy sleep you will realize that you set that alarm for a reason and in most moments you will force youself to get up. This morning I realized, that of all times I had thought about not caring about anything and continuing to sleep in spite of the consequences, today would be different. There was a little pulse knocking through my head teling me that I was leaving for good.